


Tourniquet

by Kurai Himitsu (Taskuhecate)



Series: Broken Pieces [1]
Category: Fruits Basket
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Heavy Angst, M/M, Multi, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-25
Updated: 2005-07-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 08:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14076765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taskuhecate/pseuds/Kurai%20Himitsu
Summary: Salvation in death's hands... Or loss so great? Pain, and love, self-sacrifice...which will win?  (Songfic that may eventually be rewritten - it's a bit embarrassing.)





	Tourniquet

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** So this is sooo old, and perhaps some day I'll rewrite it so it's not a songfic. Apologies for the quality. I'm only posting it since I also wrote a sequel (which was written later, and much better). You don't necessarily have to read it, but...here it is, just in case.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** Old habits. I don't own the song or _Fruits Basket_.

The knife sent a sharp pain through him as it sliced the vein of his shaking wrist. He dropped the blade and it landed on the hardwood floor with a hollow clatter as he clutched his wrist, chocolate eyes wide with fear as the blood began to seep between his fingers.  _Dear God…what have I done…! What have I done…_

_I tried_

_To kill the pain_

_But only bled more_

_Oh so much more_

_I may die_

_And I'm pouring_

_Crimson regret_

_And betrayal_

He was panting, wild-eyed with fear at the horror of what he'd done.  _But…it's for the best… It's best that they never knew…never suffered because of me…_  He slumped to the floor, his shaking legs unable to support him any longer.  _It's better that I die…before I hurt one of them…hurt her…_

He looked at the ceiling, tears streaming unchecked down his pale and bloodless face. "Please…please, forgive me…forgive me…I'm sorry…for it all…please, don't hold this against me…"

_Dear God, don't hold this sin against me…for it is a necessary evil…_

_I'm dying_

_Praying_

_Bleeding_

_And screaming_

_Am I too lost_

_To be saved?_

_Am I too lost?_

"Shigure!"

Hatori's voice…

_Haa-san…where are you?_

"No! What have you done!" Hatori's panicked face came into view as the dragon dropped to his knees next to him, the deep green eyes wide and anguished.

_I…I'm sorry Hatori…_

"Oh God, Shigure!"

_I never meant to hurt you…you were the last one I would ever wish that on…_

"Please, Shigure! Hold on!"

A small smile.  _I can't…you ask me but you know that I can't…you know…_

The dragon was franticly trying to stop the bleeding with his tie for a tourniquet around the dog's wrist. But red was already beginning to seep through… It was hopeless, the dragon knew that, but he couldn't just do nothing, just sit and watch as his friend, his cousin, his beloved, slipped from life.

"Please! Shigure, I love you!"

… _What…?_

"Don't go…I never got to tell you how much I love you…please…"

The dragon slumped over his body, crystal tears falling onto the dog's ghost-white face. "No…Shigure…"

"H-Haa…san…?"

_My God_

_My Tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

_My God_

_My Tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

The dragon's eyes snapped open and stared into fading chocolate. "Shigure! Dear God, there's still time!"

"No…" _I'm sorry…but I can't endanger them any more…please…_

"There's time Shigure…I can still save you…we can be together…"

 _Let me go…_  "No…" Repeated, soft but resigned.

Hatori shook his head, refusing to give up, to let go of the one he had loved for so long, but never told.

_Do you_

_Remember me_

_Lost for so long_

_Will you be on the other side_

_Or will you forget me?_

The dragon swallowed. "I can't!" The tears were streaming in rivulets down the dragon's face as he clamped a hand on the wound again. "I can't…"

 _Yes you can…please, let go…you know I can't stay here anymore. The things I've done, having been planning, would have hurt so many…and all for no one's sake but my own selfish desire…_  A soft touch; weak, and getting colder. The dog gently laid his hand on the dragon's, silencing his frantic tries to stop the flow of blood. "I…love you…but don't…please…"

Hatori shook his head. "Shigure…but…I  _love_  you!  _How can you ask me to do this?_ "

A painful chuckle; it was shifting, the world wavering.  _How can you ask me not too? You know as well as I that I do now the only thing I've left myself, the last bit of decency, is this…_

"Don't you dare laugh at me Shigure," yelled Hatori, near hysteric now as he grabbed the dog's shoulders. "If you won't let me save you…then there's only one way left…I won't be left alone again!"

_Haa-san…you were never alone before…you just never saw us there…Ayame and I…we love you…I love you…but please, let me go…_

_I'm dying_

_Praying_

_Bleeding_

_And screaming_

_Am I too lost_

_To be saved?_

_Am I too lost?_

"I'm not going to lose you!" Something caught the dragon's eye and he grabbed it. It was the knife, crimson still staining the blade.

Shigure's eyes widened.  _Don't…!_

The dragon swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut, as he slashed both his wrists, dropping the knife as he clutched at them. He gasped at the intense, fiery pain. "I won't leave…I couldn't stand it if you left…"

"H-Haa…san…why…?"  _Why? You had so much left…you never deserved this fate!_

"Because," he whispered, gazing into the dog's flickering chocolate eyes through the pain in his own eyes, love unwavering. "I love you…and now we can…finally…be together…for always…"

_Haa-san…_

_My God_

_My Tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

_My God_

_My Tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

_Return to me salvation_

_I want to die_

The dragon, panting from the pain, stretched out next to the dog. His arms wove themselves around Shigure's thin waist, the dog's face resting against his chest. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you…"

Shigure closed his eyes, a serenity claiming his fears, his morality, his mortality.  _Haa-san…I love you as well… I'll never leave you…never let go…_

Hatori bent and his lips met the dog's at last… "One fond embrace…"

_My God_

_My Tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

_My God_

_My Tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation_

The door opened; shocked eyes took in the grim and profound sight: the dog and dragon, dead, in each other's arms, Shigure's head curled against Hatori's chest, while the dragon's rested against the soft black hair of his beloved, blood staining the floor around them. "No!"

_My wounds_

_Cry for the grave_

_My soul cries_

_For deliverance_

_Will I be_

_Denied?_

_Christ, Tourniquet_

_My soul is sad_

* * *

_Owari_

* * *

 


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